How to Know When Your Child May Benefit From Therapy

A practical, clinician-designed guide to understanding what’s typical, what’s concerning, and when to get support.

Introduction

Parenting is hard. Knowing when to get help shouldn’t be.

If you are reading this, you are likely stuck in "The Gray Area." You might be seeing mood swings that seem too intense, worries that won’t go away, or a sudden withdrawal from family life.

One day you think, "This is just a phase."The next day you think, "We can’t keep going like this."

Living in this in-between space is exhausting. You may feel like you have "tried everything"—gentle encouragement, stricter boundaries, reward systems—yet the friction remains.

A Note on Seeking Support: Seeking therapy does not mean you or your child have failed.

• It is common: Research shows 1 in 5 children experience a mental health challenge each year.
• It is proactive: Just as a child needs a tutor for math or a coach for soccer, many children need expert guidance to understand their emotions.
• It shows resilience: Identifying a need and seeking the right support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Step 1: Observe Common Areas of Concern

This guide helps you identify patterns that often benefit from professional support. It isn't a diagnosis, but a framework to help you see clearly.

Anxiety & Worries

• Social Anxiety: Freezing up, clinging to parents, or avoiding social situations entirely.
• Generalized Anxiety: Excessive worry about safety, the future, or constant "what if" scenarios.
• Panic: Sudden intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms (racing heart, trouble breathing).
• Phobias: Intense fears (dogs, the dark, needles) that limit daily life.

Mood & Emotions

• Sadness: Frequent tears, hopelessness, or losing interest in activities they used to love.
• Irritability: Snapping quickly, lasting grumpy moods, or having a "short fuse."
• Withdrawal: Isolating in their room often or pulling away from family and friends.

Behavior & Regulation

• Tantrums: Explosive outbursts or crying spells that are difficult to stop.
• Defiance: Constant arguing, refusal to follow rules, or oppositional behavior.
• Impulsivity (ADHD): Acting without thinking, interrupting, or trouble sitting still.

Life Events & Transitions

• Trauma & Grief: Behavior changes after a scary event, loss, or significant stressor.
• Divorce: Difficulty coping with separation or changes in family dynamic.
• Bullying: Being targeted by peers or expressing fear of going to school.

Step 2: The "Clinical Criteria" Checklist

How do you distinguish between a bad week and a clinical need? Review the concerns you identified above. Clinicians typically recommend therapy when behaviors meet these three specific criteria:

1. Persistence: Has this been happening consistently for several weeks or months, rather than just "on and off" or for a few bad days?
2. Resistance: Have you tried your usual strategies (comfort, boundaries, advice), but the behavior isn't improving?
3. Impairment: Is it causing problems in your child's daily life (grades dropping, losing friends, sleep issues) or affecting the family atmosphere?

Step 3. How to Introduce Therapy to Your Child (Scripts & Analogies)

Many parents worry that suggesting therapy will make their child feel "broken." The key is framing it as a resource, not a punishment.

Starting the Conversation

• If you need to bring it up (The "Soft Open"): Start with a non-judgmental observation.‍
  
  • "I’ve noticed you seem really frustrated with homework lately," or "I see your tummy hurts before school a lot."‍
• Then, use The Magic Wand question:‍
  
  • "If you had a magic wand to change one thing about how school or home feels, what would it be?"‍
• If they ask for help: Validate them immediately.‍
  
  • "I am so proud of you for telling me that. It takes courage to say you need help. You don't have to figure this out alone."

Explaining Therapy: The 3 Best Analogies

1. The "Coach" Analogy: "Just like a soccer coach helps you get better at dribbling, a therapist is a coach for your feelings. They help you build 'muscles' to handle stress."
2. The "Tutor" Analogy: "If math were hard, we’d get a tutor to teach you new tricks. A therapist teaches you tricks to handle worry or sadness."
3. The "Doctor" Analogy: "We go to a doctor for a sore throat to get medicine; we go to a therapist for big feelings to get strategies."

Crucial Rule: Never bring up therapy during a fight. It must be framed as a healthy step (like vitamins), not a last resort for "bad" behavior.

Step 4. Find a Qualified Therapist

If you’ve recognized these patterns in your child, Handspring makes the next step simple. We provide virtual, evidence-based care for children (ages 8-12), teens (13-17), and young adults (18-29).

Evidence-Based & Specialized

We don't just "talk." We use therapies proven to help children learn new skills, such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), behavioral therapy, and parent coaching. Our therapists are licensed mental health providers (LCSW, LMHC, LPC, PsyD) specifically trained in pediatric care.

In-Network & Affordable

We believe quality care should be accessible. We are in-network with major insurance plans, including:

• Blue Cross Blue Shield
• Aetna
• Oscar
• UnitedHealthcare
• Optum
• Cigna
• AmeriHealth

Note: We verify your benefits before you begin. Most families pay less than $30 per session after insurance.

Parent Support is Built In

When families learn together, children improve faster. That’s why our model includes tools, scripts, and coaching specifically for you, the parent.

How to Get Started

1. Book a free parent consult: A 30-minute conversation to review your child’s needs and insurance.
2. Get Matched: We pair your child with the right therapist based on age and goals.
3. Begin Sessions: Consistent weekly support with no long-term commitments.

A Word from Dr. Amy Kranzler

"If you’ve read this guide, you are already doing the most important thing: paying close attention to your child’s needs. Whether you decide to try new strategies at home or speak with a professional, your child is lucky to have you. If you are ready for expert support, Handspring is here to help your family thrive."

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