10 Essential Self-Regulation Strategies for Kids: A Parent's Guide

Introduction: Why Self-Regulation Matters for Children

Self-regulation is a foundational life skill—one that profoundly influences a child’s emotional health, learning capacity, and relationships. For parents, navigating daily meltdowns, impulsivity, or mood swings can feel overwhelming. These moments often test patience and resilience, yet they also highlight opportunities to support a child’s long-term development.

Research in developmental psychology underscores that emotional regulation doesn’t emerge overnight. It’s cultivated over time through modeling, guided practice, and a safe environment. The prefrontal cortex—responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation and impulse control—continues to mature well into young adulthood, In the meantime, children rely heavily on adults for co-regulation: the process of calming and organizing emotions with support.

While parenting in these moments is rarely easy, fostering self-regulation in children is a powerful and valuable investment in their well-being. It equips them to cope with stress, resolve conflicts constructively, and thrive socially and academically. 

Below are 10 evidence-informed strategies that can help.

10 Self-Regulation Strategies for Kids (with Explanations)

Breathing Techniques 

Teaching children structured breathing techniques activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), helping to modulate stress. Various breathing techniques, including 4-7-8 breathing and diaphragmatic breathing (or belly breathing), can be encouraged to help the body shift out of the stress mode (sympathetic nervous system dominance) and into the body’s rest, digest and restore mode (parasympathetic nervous system dominance). 

Breathing through the diaphragm supports more efficient breathing. Encouraging your child to take a deep breath through their diaphragm for four seconds, hold it for seven seconds, and exhale for slightly longer, at eight seconds—further promotes PNS activation. Having children place their hand on their stomach can be a good cue to see if they are breathing through their diaphragm, as their stomach should be expanding with each breath. Over time, these breathing techniques will become easier and more ingrained into the child or adolescent’s nervous system, supporting neuroplasticity and nervous system regulation. Consistency and mindfulness regarding the breath is key.

Creating a Calm-Down Corner 

A calm-down corner is a dedicated, sensory-friendly space where children can retreat when they feel dysregulated. Stocking this area with soft seating, fidget tools, calming visuals and soothing music is recommended. The goal is not isolation or punishment, but self-directed regulation. If a child or teen is feeling dysregulated, reminding them that this area is available to them can help them to have a safe space to self-regulate. If your family has a beloved pet your child is close to, encourage them to spend time with them in this sacred space. Research highlights the value pets can serve in terms of co-regulation support for our nervous system. If you don’t have a family pet, giving your child a hug can also provide emotional comfort. You know your child best, so assess when it may be the most beneficial to utilize this space.

Emotional Labeling and Validation

Labeling, or identifying emotions, helps children and teens acknowledge, validate, and process what they’re feeling. Encourage your child to name what they are feeling, with compassion and curiosity. Use validating statements, such as “It’s okay to feel mad,” or “You seem frustrated—do you want to talk or take space?” Model acceptance and self-awareness. Neuroscience suggests that labeling emotions activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces amygdala activity, which in turn can decrease emotional reactivity.

Body Awareness and Mindfulness

Mindfulness, non-judgmental present moment awareness, cultivates a regulated nervous system. Encouraging your child to bring awareness to their body in a curious and neutral way helps them to attend to their own needs and take care of themselves. There are several ways to do this: 

• Being aware that their body and brain are in stress mode. 
• Engage in a task that helps them to self-soothe, like taking deep breaths (as noted above). 
• Use yoga poses or gentle stretching to promote improved interoception, the ability to sense internal body signals which is essential for regulation.

Encouraging your child or teen to be aware of how their body feels, such as when they might be hungry, thirsty, tired, or antsy, can support improved mind-body attunement. This encourages them to attend to their own dynamic and individual needs. 

Visual Supports and Routines

Having a visible family calendar with a schedule on it provides structure and predictability. Visual supports, including an emotional thermometer, can help children and teens recognize when they should use self-soothing or coping skills. You can modify these kinds of support for your child. Questions to ask include: 

• What is true for them when they begin to feel intense emotions?
• What does it feel like in their body? 
• How do they best support themselves relative to that level of intensity?

Nutrition & Rest as Regulatory Tools

Eating a well-balanced, diverse and nutrient-dense diet is also important for supporting nervous system health. Both macro and micronutrients support various processes in the body and mind that support balance and calm. Ensuring your child is getting enough sleep is also essential for mood and nervous system regulation, as is adequate hydration. 

Nature as a Regulation Tool 

While it may seem simple, getting sufficient time outdoors in the sun and in nature is also significant in supporting nervous system modulation and mood. Sunshine is important for regulating mood and stress, as it helps to support circadian rhythm balance, which helps to modulate the body’s systems, including the nervous system. Adequate sunlight also supports Vitamin D, helping to support Serotonin. Furthermore, time in nature, simply surrounded by trees and plants, can help to reduce stress (cortisol) hormones. Children and teens can also implement mindfulness while being engaged in nature, further supporting self-regulation. 

Movement as a Regulation Tool 

Utilizing movement—including play, hula hoop, dance or sports—is a great tool for regulating mood and supporting overall health, including that of the nervous system. Encouraging your child to engage in forms of movement that feel soothing or stress-relieving to them is key. Movement can help to reset the nervous system, while releasing endorphins—all factors that support regulation. Running and physical exercise, in particular, have noteworthy benefits for supporting stress. *

Meditation as a Regulation Tool 

While meditation may seem boring or daunting, there is a lot of encouraging research to back this practice up, including reductions in cortisol, heart rate and inflammation as evidenced in a recent meta-analysis published in The Journal of Psychiatric Research. Meditation exercises can be tailored to the individual and can vary in length as well as the type of meditation. While meditative scripts and guided visual imagery can be excellent choices for many children and teens, calming meditative music, such as sound healing, nature sounds or simply slow, soothing, peaceful music, can also confer benefits. If your child is new to meditating, encourage the practice for 5 minutes and then work your way up. Better yet, meditate alongside your child. 

Modeling Self-Regulation as Parents & Using Positive Reinforcement

Children learn through observation. Demonstrate your own strategies aloud: “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a break and breathe.” By acknowledging how you’re feeling and modeling how you support yourself by self-soothing, you can help reinforce how your child can engage in similar behaviors. Modeling helps normalize difficult emotions. This transparency fosters psychological safety and strengthens the co-regulation dynamic. Use positive reinforcement and praise their efforts. Here’s an example: “I noticed you took a few moments when you were upset before to reset and focus on your breathing, I’m really proud of you.” This helps your child be encouraged and seen for their work. 

When to Seek Professional Support

Want personalized support? Handspring’s licensed child therapists can help you implement these strategies at home. Book a free intake consultation today. 👉 Visit handspringhealth.com for more info.

FAQs About Self-Regulation Strategies for Kids

Q1: How do self-regulation skills develop in children?

Self-regulation is closely tied to brain development, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, which governs executive functions like impulse control and decision-making. In early childhood, regulation relies heavily on co-regulation, where caregivers help children calm and organize their emotions. As children mature, especially into the school-age years, they gradually internalize these skills, with scaffolding and consistent modeling.

Q2: What are signs my child may be struggling with self-regulation?

Signs vary by age. Frequent tantrums beyond developmental norms or inability to calm with support may indicate concern. In older children, persistent difficulty with transitions, verbal or physical aggression, or an inability to recognize emotional cues may suggest underlying regulation challenges.

Q3: How do I adapt these strategies for different age groups?
Younger children benefit most from co-regulation—think modeling calm behavior, offering comfort, and labeling emotions for them and begin introducing visual aids and simple scripts. Older children can begin using tools more independently and engage in reflective conversations about their emotions.

Q4: What if my child has ADHD, autism, or sensory processing issues?

These strategies are still highly relevant but often need to be more structured, repetitive, and sensory-informed. For example, children with ADHD may benefit from more frequent movement breaks, while autistic children may need predictable visuals and sensory accommodations. Occupational therapists can be valuable partners in customizing these supports.

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